Wednesday, August 15, 2007

How Well do You Deal with Change?

All the circumstances that have formed my life have all changed. Everything that I know and rely on right now will change. Some folks like change, I personaly am a fan of change. Some folks truly dislike change, my wife being one of them. Regardless of you feelings on change it is going to happen. The real trick is to understand that you have some say in how change will happen. You can either let it happen and wait for the outcome or you can affect change by your behavior and decisions. If you keep drinking and getting high the changes will not be pretty. If you stop your destructive behavior the changes will be for the better. My father told me a hundred times; " A year from now you will be one year older. Who you are and what you are in one year is up to you". I hope someone hears that and uses it a lot quicker than I did.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

A Little History

I got sober when I was 16 years old. I know it seems awfully young but it was precipitated by stays in 2 psychiatric hospitals, a suicide attempt/drug overdose, a 3 day coma, a halfway house and a 4 month stay in rehab. I did a lot of damage in a few short years. I believe the one of the biggest reasons I got sober and stayed sober is because I completely changed my circumstances. I stopped hanging around with my old friends and found new ones in NA-AA. I also took a job as a maintenance man in a rehab my town. I went to a meeting everyday without fail. I joined a group that I liked and went on commitment meeting to speak at other groups. I tried to replace all my old habits with new positive ones. No it was not easy. Life still continues to be challenging at times but for the first time in my life I believe I am in a position to be able to help others. Working my program is not as much work as it used to be because I did the hard work in the beginning and didn't quit because it was hard. My higher power has dealt me my cards. What becomes of them is up to me. Thanks for listening to me babble!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I Forgot About Being Human!

If you have read any of my blogs I'm sure you noticed that I'm generaly a positive optimistic person. I try to be the guy who will look for reasons that something CAN be done as opposed to why it Can't be done. I can usually maintain a positive outlook. But sometimes despite my best efforts I just get down. I have had a very grumpy couple of days. Then I start to put pressure on myself to snap out of it. I don't like being grumpy in front of my employees. I feel it is my job to lead by example and motivate them. The more pressure I put on myself the worse I feel. Eventually I come to my senses and realize that I am just a lowly human. Life is what life is and there's only so much I can control. It's O.K. to be bummed out for no good reason. As soon as I remember this I usually lighten up and I am back to being myself. It is amazing how I seem to forget that I'm human and give myself a lot more importance than I'm due.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Something has Changed!

The last year has been very good for me. I have had some business challenges that made me want to quit and walk away and some personal issues as well. I hyave been extremely busy and get frustrated from time to time with all I have to do. I was talking with my wife over the weekend and realized that things have been hectic but everything has gone real well. We have achieved a bunch of stuff together this year all with a smile on our faces! I thought; why have things gone so well? Why when faced with more than we have been in the past, why have we risen instead of sinking? It's because we have changed. My wife and I agreed that we were happy and were grateful as hell for all we have and our wonderful family. (we have 2 boys ages 6 & 7 that are such great kids!)But we decided we wanted to live better more fulfilling lives. There has to more than work and money! We took the time to ask what would really makes HAPPY not just occupied. We asked ourselves what it would take to make that happen and took the first steps. We know it will take time and constant improvement but we're doing more and living more and are doing it with a smile on our faces. Just deciding to do something was the best step we have taken. I have more patients with my boys and gotten a little clearer on what is really important. I sincerely hope that all my fellow addicts and alcoholics can not only get sober and repair their lives but see all the amazing things that are waiting to be found by them.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

When The Hell Did This Happen?

Much as my addiction started slowly and crept up to bite me in the ass, I have over time become regimented, anal retentive and impatient. I never noticed it happening. I have had some unexpected house guests as of late and while I am grateful to be in a position to help them, it has illustrated how I have grown so very accustomed to having my own way! Given my unstable past I always prided myself on my ability to work with change or "roll with the punches". That is not the case anymore! Isn't it amazing how things can change right under your nose and you either don't notice or refuse to notice?