Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Irony of Strength

I have often heard people speak of not having the strength to remain clean and sober or not having the strength to avoid temptation. While it is true that it does require both mental and spiritual strength to achieve any level of success getting and staying clean and sober, I have always found it ironic that people don’t believe they possess the strength to do so.

How much strength does it take to bear the pain of your addiction? How much strength does it take to keep fighting the awful truth that you have a drug and alcohol problem? How much strength does it take to continually lie to those who love you and are trying to save you? It takes an enormous amount of strength to continually live in misery.

Perhaps if all of that fight and strength was directed at not drinking or using for one single day you would be one day closer to true happiness.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Is A.A. the only way?

Is completing the 12 steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous program the only way to achieve and keep a life free of drugs and alcohol?

I’m going to speak for myself on this question. When I finally hit bottom and realized that I did indeed have a drug and alcohol problem, I was introduced to A.A. by a fellow resident of the half-way house I was living in. During my first meeting I saw and heard things that made me feel both comforted as well as terribly uncomfortable. Most of the people I met greeted me warmly and seemed genuinely concerned for me. Others seemed to be annoyed by the presence of someone so young in their meeting. I heard catch phrases like just for today, keep it simple and let go and let God. At that stage in my life, let go and let God scared the crap out of me. I had absolutely no relationship with a God or any intention to begin one. I did believe that I was capable of embracing one day at a time and that was about it.

What really mattered to me was changing the absolute hell my life had become. I didn’t want to feel the misery that was with me every waking minute. The drugs and the alcohol couldn’t mask the pain I felt any longer, I wanted it to stop. I was willing to do anything at all to make it all go away. What that meant for me, was to continue to attend the A.A. meetings.

My view is this; if I was truly willing to do anything to find peace and all these people were telling me this was the way, then I had to at least give it a try. Sure there were things and people within the program to find fault with but if there was even a small chance that it would work, I had to try. If I wasn’t willing to try, then it didn’t matter what 12 step programs, book or medicine I tried. It was never going to succeed.
So is it possible to get clean and sober (and stay that way) without A.A.? Lots of things are possible, space travel, spontaneous combustion…etc. There seems to be a better chance of success with A.A.

I’m still clean and sober 24 years later. If I can do it, you can too.

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