Sample from the book "Sober Conversation"

He could already feel the disappointment his parents would have in him, he tried to think of a way out. How could he put this off? It was far too late to do anything about it now. He couldn’t see any way out of this mess. He also had no plan to change anything. It all seemed so futile. He started to panic. He kept focusing on how bad this was going to be. He kept thinking about his father’s exasperated speech on paying attention in school. Brian remembered the bag full of pills he had stashed in his sock drawer. He tried to come up with a reason not to take all the pills and die. He needed a reason that was stronger than his fear of what was to come. He couldn’t find one. He was so tired of having no answers. He didn’t have the strength to fight back. He had no strength to ask his parents for help.
He got out the yellow pages and found the phone number for the counselor he had been going to see weekly. He told her that he had failed his report card and didn’t think he could face his parents with it. He told her that he had a big bag of pills and that he was thinking about taking all of them. Even in his clouded, disheartened mind, her answer shocked him. “Why don’t you go for a walk and wait for your parents to come home. You can talk to them then.” Brian replied “O.K.” He took her advice and went for a walk. He brought along a tall glass of water and his big bag of pills.